Just start typing and see where it takes me

Today wasn't my best day.

I woke up with the same feeling of emptiness I felt after breaking up with Mary. I know it's a different situation, but that ache like someone had shoveled out the contents of my chest were the same. Losing a girlfriend can be helped by my having so many substitute girlfriends around. Losing a best friend would be agony because I have so few of them.

I hit the gym and wimped out on the tread mill. There was a sign that said that by going past this point you are agreeing to be taped for a television program. I didn't see any cameras and very few people (hardly any that would be on television), so I expected that it was still hanging from the night before.

I had lunch with Swidler. I like Swidler. We have similar tastes in comedy. He ripped on Cobra Kai. Kai is what's left of my graduating class. We were given shows to make up for getting jacked by the theater. I bailed. Didn't have the time, but Swidler hung on. He hopes it dies soon. I do, too for his sake.

Then I went to get my oil changed. While waiting, I walked over to Circuit City to look at digital cameras. My plan is to save all the money I make for the dinner detective and apply it to a camera. This Circuit City is the most ghetto electronics store ever: displays trashed, DVDs scattered without care to genre or alphabetical order, general chaos. I got back to the EZ Lube in time to find out that the last people who changed my oil stripped my plug, so I need to get it replaced. That sucks.

Then to work. Which also sucks. It was only mildly sucky until I got called by Fely. I thought she wanted to type something, so I'd be able to sneak some fun e-mails to my favorite legal maverick since Ben Stone (DUHNT DUHNT). Instead she closed the door and asked me if I liked my job. I quickly flipped through my mental rolodex of things she could be pissed at me for: playing video games on the clock, leaving two hours early to go to improv show, shoving incomplete employee background checks in my desk drawer. Nope. Turns out that something that I had told Katie Katie had told Rachel (ex hospital employee). Rachel told this to Linda (current hospital employee), and Linda asked Fely about.

To make a long story short, Linda screwed up a couple weeks ago and got written up. I told Katie that Linda screwed up, and Katie told Rachel. Somewhere after that, it became "Fely is trying to fire Linda." Now if Fely was trying to fire Linda, it would take some of the blame off her for screwing up. That's how my job works. Pass the buck.

This wouldn't have been so bad but I had just built up the courage to tell Fely that I wanted to be paid the same rate whether I was on the floor or working in the office. Can't really make demands when I supposedly giving out confidential information.

Scattered within here is about four dozen txt messages from my harem.

After work, I came directly to the coffee shop, and I instantly feel better. More so when Desiree showed up online. I can't help but feel like I want to hang out with her even more than usual. But don't tell her I said that.

Do I still have the empty feeling in my gut? A little. But I like a little pain. It makes me think of a residenital street after i has rained. The look, the smell, the fell.

Hey, Mom. I'm doing pretty good.